Animated Atrocities 26/Transcript
You know what? I fucking hate Peggy fucking Hill! Remember when I said that Elmyra may have been my least favorite character in all of media? Well I forgot Peggy fucking Hill! What's so bad about her? Well she helped shape what I hate about people in real life: thinking that she has knowledge when she doesn't, to a ludicrous degree, and an ego the size of Jupiter! And what episode shows Peggy fucking Hill at her absolute worst? I don't know, but Lupe's Revenge has to be a good damn candidate. The episode starts off with Peggy substituting for a Spanish class, and it already starts shoving her egotism in our face! Student: '''You're just a sub. You can't give extra credit. '''Peggy: '''Well no. Not toward your grade, but you will get credit with me, and those Peggy Points add up! Whoopity-fucking-do! She's required to substitute the next day, but, unfortunately, that day, the Spanish Club has a field trip to Mexico. And somehow she convinces the director of the Language Department to let her go on that field trip. Oh, and there's a running gag where Peggy calls the actual teacher a drunk and eventually convinces herself about it, because this episode is desperately trying to prove me wrong in stating that I cannot hate Peggy fucking Hill more than already I do. Later that night, the Hill family is having tacos. Hank tries to convince Peggy not to go down to Mexico because her Spanish needs work. No, no, no, that doesn't quite sum it up. The only way she could have possibly gotten her job is by sleeping with someone, blackmailing him, and threatening him at gunpoint. All at the same time! You'd learn better Spanish from Dora the Explorer than you'd learn from her. I get that that's the joke, but it's not remotely funny. Especially because this show depends on not bending the laws of probability. The next day, she hands Bobby a script, that is once again there to bolster her own ego. And a Spanish-English dictionary falls out of Bobby's backpack. She takes offense to that, calls herself a Spanish-English dictionary, and throws the book in the trash. '''Peggy: Bobby, if you ever marry a Spanish teacher, and you probably will, never doubt her enormous gifts. Unless she's a blithering idiot! Onto the B plot, Hank gets stopped by a female cop. They chat a bit, and it's clear that she's flirting with him. Moving on. Bobby reads out his script, and thank God no one indulges her bloated ego trip! Then she instructs everyone on the bus to only speak Spanish, including the goddamn bus driver. A teacher who doesn't speak a lick of coherent Spanish, forcing students to only speak in a language they barely comprehend, in a country that has Spanish as its primary language. I can't see what could possibly go wrong! Oh, and by the way, why the hell is Bobby in the Spanish Club? Last time I checked he didn't care about extracurriculars. Bus Driver: '''I don't speak other languages. '''Peggy: '''Then I will teach you.. Why? Why? Why? Why do you want to teach the bus driver? Why?! Back to the B plot. Hank's friends tell him that the cop was flirting with him. Moving on. And, because Peggy was reading directions in Spanish, she gets them lost. She requests that the bus stop, and then they let a guy on. Safety protocols? What's that?! It's not like that guy could be a wanted fugitive. You know: a thief, a murderer, or god knows what else! Use that FUCKING pea you call a brain!! '''Peggy: '''Perfecto! We are going to follow him, and show the kids a day in the life of a real Mexicano, huh? You and Minty should have a stupid contest. Because, you know, I legitimately don't know who the hell would win! Actually, I think I do. Miss Sock Drawer over there, would at least know not to let a stranger on their goddamn vehicle. The guy doesn't turn out to be a murderer; he turns out to be a butcher. Of course, she thinks that he's going to a carnival. - Spanish: Butcher - Carnicero Carnival - Carnaval Yes, both of those words in Spanish start with a "c", but how the fuck do you mix those two up?! I guess that's nothing compared to the fact that she's actually convinced that the butcher shop is a carnival! '''Director: What the hell kind of carnival is this? Peggy: Well, it's a poor village. They can't afford the rides. Usted es la peor maestra del mundo, you concentrated pile of stupid! The butcher comes outside and gives the whole class a show. Peggy thought he was dressed for his "act". Yeah, cutting off the head of a chicken in front of a class of grade schoolers. Awesome! And Peggy makes it seem like it's all part of an act. I hope you plan on paying that guy for the chicken you threw on the floor. Oh who am I kidding? She's probably gonna ask the guy where the fuck she can buy the cotton candy! Hank tries to get his ticket back, feeling guilty about the whole thing. The police officer gets called away, and thinks that he's come to get her phone number. Moving on. And now the episode gets bad. I mean really fucking bad. It's already a comedy of errors without the comedy. The only way they can make it worse is by raising up the errors! A little Mexican girl named Lupe comes by, and tries to sell gum. Peggy thinks she's a student, and orders her onto the bus. Alright, let's count everything wrong with this scene. First of all, I know Peggy is too stupid to comprehend even the basics of the Spanish language, but is she really stupid enough to not recognize each member of the class? Barring that, I'm pretty sure that the other teacher didn't recognize her either! Secondly, what happened to role call? You know, what you do to make sure that you're not missing any kids? Third, who's the sick piece of shit who tried to use kidnapping a kid for comedy? please tell me how long it takes to get from middle Texas to a rural Mexican village They make it back to their school in America before Peggy realizes her mistake, presumably while Lupe was annoying her that she was a resident of Mexico! So obviously, the reasonable thing to do is to drive Lupe back to Mexico, and try to clear up any misunderstandings brought on by Peggy's pitiful misunderstanding of the Spanish language. Well, we'll find out after the B plot. Sexual harassment. Moving on. No! Peggy decides to bring Lupe to her house like a little lost puppy dog. And not a child whose family is probably worried sick. Apparently, Lupe's family does not have a telephone. Peggy: She refuses to call home because her family hates her. WHY WEREN'T YOU FIRED THE SECOND YOU STARTED TEACHING?!! - telefono "Hates me" - Odiarme Lupe: 'Spanish .but it better not be anything bad about my mother! '''Peggy: '''I was afraid of this: now she wishes ''I was her mother. Callate el estupido elefante!! Instead of trying to make accommodations for Lupe, Peggy pretty much locks her in the supply closet. While waiting for tomorrow to smuggle her back into Mexico. Here's a question: why the fuck don't you do it right now? Isn't it already like nighttime? Or sunset? does the Mexican border shut down at night? By the way, the cop is stalking Hank because it's funny that way. I mean if it was the other way around, it would be serious. But no, it's comedy here. Hank discovers Lupe in the closet and Peggy confesses. '''Hank: You brought an extra kid back and you didn't notice it?! I am still debating whether or not that's possible! Oh, not because I don't think Peggy is stupid enough to do that, because I know that she is! We have things called Border Patrol! I highly doubt that an illegal alien can get over the border by riding a school bus. Peggy: I am taking her back first thing in the morning! And how are you going to smuggle her across the border past the border control? By the way, this episode came out in 2001. December of 2001. it's not like International Security was being lax or anything Peggy somehow gets Lupe across the border, past Border Patrol, and goes to the exact same poor village that they got lost in the previous day. Peggy tries to bask in the people's thanks. Peggy: '''Do not worship me. Worship my actions! worry, I will immortalize them in novel-form: 'The Endless Bounds of Stupidity But they call her a kidnapper. Because she is. It doesn't matter if she meant to or not, she still ended up kidnapping. I'll be sure to build a monument to your incredible stupidity. And set it on fire! Luckily, Peggy gets arrested. '''Peggy: I'm getting a commendation? Sure why not? Officer: 'Comprende espanol? '''Peggy: '''Si senor. '''Officer: 'Spanish I hope you rot in jail and the rats eat your eyes. Hey, get this guy a beer! 'Peggy: 'Spanish Wait a fuck. She does know the Spanish word for "telephone." Then how the fuck did she butcher the phrase earlier? Consistency, please! She calls up Hank and learns that she's being arrested. It's about fucking time, too. Hank decides to go down to Mexico, and passes by the cop. time, another episode Sexual harassment. Moving on. What? Am I supposed to feel sad for you, because he didn't entertain your unwanted advances? keep in mind that I don't know the laws of Mexico. I'm just going off of common sense. So, Peggy is on trial, and by some spectacular miracle, she actually got a decent state-appointed lawyer. In Mexico. He's going with the argument that Peggy accidentally transported the minor across borders. I'm pretty sure that that's still a crime. That has to be some kind of crime. Negligence, maybe. Or perhaps incomprehensible stupidity! Oh, and by the way, this is the part of the episode that really gets me. The lawyer wants to convince the judge of Peggy's poor Spanish. '''Peggy: '''That is completely untrue! Oh for the love of-- Spanish! '''Peggy: That goes down on the Mexican records, my teaching career is tostada. YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED FOR THE JOB TO BEGIN WITH!! If you can't do the job to begin with, there's no way in hell you should be allowed to work at that job, unless you're applying for a goddamn government job! Peggy: I am very fluent. Listen to me roll my r's. tongue badly I rrrrrrrrrrrest my case! Great, you can sound like the fucking motorboat. What about it?! Hank: Mr. Ortiz, I hate to disagree with you, but my wife speaks perfect Spanish. Stop. Entertaining. Your wife's. Delusions! Yes, I understand lying to make your partner feel better about themselves; normally, that's the right thing to do. But only when the lie is harmless. This isn't the first time that Peggy has been in this issue, and it certainly wasn't the last! In an earlier episode, she delivered crack cocaine to a Death Row inmate, because he simply said that she had inspired him as a teacher. He had never had her as a teacher before. If you don't tell someone that they fucked up, and kidnapping a child across international borders has to be the mother of all fuckups, then they are bound to fuck up the exact same way, time and time again. So Peggy gets called to the stand and says a little bit of her own version of Spanish. Peggy: '''"Spanish" Your honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse. You know, I was about to say the exact same thing to you. Yeah, she continues to butcher the Spanish language, and is allowed to go free. It doesn't take "language" to kidnap someone. Rather, it takes "force". Also, to continue this line, you need to prove that Lupe cannot comprehend English. She managed to give her name somehow. I guess accidental kidnapping isn't a crime! So, we have a Spanish teacher who can't speak a lick of Spanish secure in her job. She kidnapped a child because of this fact, and didn't feel any guilt of this child's fate! And she got away scot-free! Still thinking that she has a mastery of the Spanish language. So she fucked up, didn't really care that she fucked up, and didn't really learn anything at all so she can fuck up in the exact same way again! Peggy fucking Hill, go die. '''Credits:"King of the Hill" is owned the Copyright Custo Group. known as Fox "Lupe's Revenge" was written by Dean Young. Final Score: 27/100 (the higher the score, the worse the episode is.For reference, 1 Night in Gottlieb has a 52/100, and the worst episode of Friendsfip is Magic (feel free to substitute mine for yours) has a 26/100/) This video was made for review purposes and falls under Fair Use, not that YouTube or Fox really cares. No copyright infringement was intended by this video. 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